Let’s Go Back to ‘School’

What if you could take a class, of sorts, that was all about just you and your fiancé?

What if you could learn how to create a unified vision that will help strengthen your marriage past the day of saying, “I do”?

What if that class will help you, as a couple, identify and then learn to communicate your fears, your desires, your beliefs, your values, your dreams, your needs and better understand the baggage you are both dragging into your relationship?

Religious or Civil Counseling

Well into the 20th century, most couples married in a place of worship. In order to do so, many couples were required to go to their priest, their pastor or their rabbi and participate in a few, religiously oriented, premarital counseling sessions. This version of premarital counseling still exists, in some manner.

Now, however, there is also a more modern version. Fewer and fewer couples are marrying in traditional religious spaces. More and more are not only living together before they even get engaged, but choosing civil rather than religious ceremonies. This means that most couples do not have anyone sitting them down to discuss marriage beyond the venue, the food, the dress and the honeymoon destination.

When working with couples, it often seems to me that people have actually given more thought to that one day of celebration than they have to the rest of their lives together. This is where premarital coaching comes into play.

Essentially, Premarital Coaching is the most important
insurance policy a couple will ever purchase.

No matter how in love you are right now, no matter how well you think you communicate right now, it is inevitable that differences will arise.

Imagine the Future

On Fridays, after work, you like to go out for a drink with friends. Before you got married, when oxytocin and feelings of love were flying freely, making you sees stars and hearts every time you looked at one another, your fiancé didn’t mind so much. Now, however, after six years of marriage, your wife has made it clear that on Fridays, she expects you to come home and have dinner with her and the kids.

What if you had been given the tools to better communicate why these Friday get-togethers are so important to you? What if you had been given the tools to negotiate getting what you need? What if you had learned how to hear why weekly drink nights bother your wife so much? Imagine if you had all of this information in your back pocket. You might actually be able to go out with your friends without inciting World War III.

What is Premarital Coaching?

Premarital Coaching empowers couples to discuss marriage stressors before they cause harm to the relationship. This gives a marriage stability, cohesiveness and trust when the difficult times of 24/7 married life set in. 

Please note, Premarital Coaching is not mental health services. It is goal oriented work.

What is the goal?

• To get to know one another a little bit better. Yes, even if you are marrying after living together for 10 years, there is a good chance that you might have things you can still learn about one another.
• To identify and deal with possible areas of conflict before life takes over and smaller, resolvable issues suddenly become overwhelming perpetual issues.
• You will learn how to strengthen your communication skills. Define role expectations. Learn conflict resolution skills.
• You will explore each other, what you want, what you need. Talk about sex. Talk about finances. Understand how your family of origin might affect how you react or act in your relationship.
• You will develop goals for your future together.

What should we expect?

You and your fiancé will meet with me eight to ten times.

Each session will be 50 minutes long.

Prior to our first session you will complete an online assessment.

I will consider information from this session and our first session together, and create a uniquely tailored plan that focuses on topics I think will most benefit your relationship.

We will talk about this plan and make sure we are all in agreement.

During your sessions I will ask you to answer a lot of questions and teach you some new skills. I will then guide you through using these skills with your fiancé.

Between sessions I will give you homework.

Will this be challenging? Sometimes. Will it be fun? Sometimes. Will it help you prepare for “until death do us part?” Always.

Who benefits from Premarital Coaching?

Are you getting married? Are you choosing to commit to spending the rest of your life with someone? Did you answer yes to either or both of these questions? If so, you are a good fit for Premarital Coaching.